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| You Know You Are A Rower When... |
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-Matt Sargent-
* You don't mind walking in frozen bird shit barefoot * Everything you do is "in 2..." * You need to have a small pushy person around telling you what to do all the time * You can get up, get dressed and get out of the dorm before your eyes are fully open * The phrase "cox box" doesn't make you giggle * You believe the world wouldn't exist without spandex * You only recognize your friends from behind * When you need to go anywhere, you have a sudden urge to throw your car over your shoulder * Before you go anywhere, you are at Main 20 minutes early * You stick water bottles in your shorts for no reason at all * You feel naked without clothing enough for 10 people on * You believe all authority figures carry a megaphone * You sit in class leaning to your rigger * Half your body is bigger than the other * You blame bad moods on "the set" * When your play softball at your company picnic you are psyched to get old people on your team for the age handicap * Your friends need a rowing translator to decipher your language * You can wear the same thing every morning for a week and not think twice * You think sleeping late is waking up at 8:30. * Everything’s a race: you walk quickly to class, just so you can pass people -when someone mentions being awake, you turn parallel and set up for it. * When you sit down in class, you look for the tie-in shoes. * You constantly check the tightness of nuts in handrails, chairs, door handles, etc. * You think gloves are for sissies, but a nice pair of poogies is really stylin' * You bring up the beauty of the dawn, and people give you blank stares * Overhearing people talk about how little sleep they got causes you to smirk, and maybe get medieval on their ass * Your vision of going away for the weekend is other people's vision of Hell *You admire the man who wears boxers under his spandex much more than a woman wearing a g-string under hers * You watch videos together, and it's ok to say "She's looking really long." * You know more than 4 brands of porta-johns by name. * You’re giving directions to a friend and you wonder why she's looking at you funny, until you realize you just said "turn to port" instead of "take a left." * You dress and undress one-handed so you don't have to take your hand off the oar. * Every time you sit in a chair you are mildly surprised to discover that it doesn't slide back and forth.
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